Life With A Toddler: Overcoming The Need To Be Perfect

Sometimes, I really dislike my toddler.

She can be the most wonderful, sweetest thing in the world. Other days, I wish someone would come whisk her away for a while. And more often than not, that’s exactly what happens. My toddler is four years old and going through a phase, so they say. I can tell you right now that she’s got issues with controlling her temper (she gets it from both sides, she’s doomed!) and because she started talking very late in life, she’s gotten used to whining and screaming to express her needs and anger. As much as I love her, it drives me nuts!

I honestly have no idea how I should be handling this.

There are days when I can’t stop thinking about how much of a horrible parent I am. What kind of a mom wants their child to sleep over the grandparent’s house, like, 4 days a week? It’s my kid, again, throwing the tantrum at the birthday party! What kind of parent doesn’t know how to ‘control’ their child?

I try to remember that kids are not meant to be controlled. Yes, they need boundaries but there are healthy ways of giving them without controlling. I try my best to teach her to take deep breaths to help curb her anger, to use words to express how she feels and to let her know that it’s okay to cry if she feels the need to. It’s hard most days to keep a positive attitude when trying to teach her these things, but I can’t get angry at her for that. I also have to remember that kids, like adults, have their own moments when they lose control and can’t seem to figure it out.

That being said, it’s still hard as Hell not to get angry, frustrated and overwhelmed by it all.

She now has a little sister after being an only child for four years. I can’t imagine that it feels good to have most of the attention taken away. I was the youngest in my family so even if I did remember being that age, I wouldn’t know how that feels. But, I do know that transitions are extremely hard. I should probably cut her some slack. Myself, too.

I know how to parent. Every mom knows how to parent, instinctively. We should stop comparing ourselves to outside sources. Stop reading parenting books. Stop trying to figure everything out in advance.

Cause, you know, life has a way of working itself out.

So what if she’s screaming at a party…again. I can always call her grandparents.

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